The wind is blowing...

The wind is blowing. Changes are coming and indeed have come. As I looked out the window driving home from Chicago last Sunday morning, the sun was just peeking over the horizon. It was incredible. The previous day I signed a lease for an apartment in Aurora, IL. My heart weighed back and forth as I knew I was embarking upon God's adventure for me, but there were also small pockets of fleshly fear as I make a big life change. His sweet voice reminded me of scripture I've been praying for months now...

When You said, "Seek My face," my heart said to You,
"Your face, O LORD, I shall seek."

In regards the the wind blowing? Well, God swung a door open (perhaps it was His wind) at Martopia in St.Charles (west-suburban Chicago) and I am walking through it. MediaSauce knows of my departure and this Friday is my last day at an office I've come to know very well, a business I've learned in, and a people I've come to know as some of my best friends. Life is a series of whirlwinds and if we're only paying attention we can see God's hand. I promise you, when I stop and watch the sunrise, when I soak in all that He is doing in this "whirlwind", I can attest it is indeed God's hand that is moving and it is more than ok by me.

The word I continue to use on my aim status is "bittersweet". Bridgette, my roommie, tells me that there is no "bittersweet" in Italian. She speaks fluently in Italian and that happens to be her favorite word. So when she lived in Italy she always struggled not being able to accurately describe "bittersweet" moments of life. It would seem these moments are all around me; not just in my life but in the lives of many.

Last Saturday I signed a lease for an apartment in Aurora, IL. It is close to my new job (starting May 11th) and even closer to Tyson and TJ. I'm psyched. Of course the transition is bittersweet as I let go of commitments here, groups I've joined, and say a temporary "see you later" to my friends and family. This Sunday I will pack a trailer and drive up to my new home.

How consistent the story goes with me... I ask and I ask and I ask. Just waiting for God's answer about the next phase of life's journey. Then when He does make the path clear, swings open those somewhat scary doors, I'm like "WHOA GOD. I'm not ready!" "Knock and the door will be opened. Seek and you shall find." I have sought His face and He has answered. Alas, He is faithful and knows when I am ready. He knew that it wasn't time to leave for California last September. He knew that it wasn't time for me to go to Kenya in 2005 but rather in 2006. His plan is GOOD, PLEASING, and PERFECT; not only to HIM... but because His best for me is better than my best for me, His plan is indeed good, pleasing and perfect for me too.

Bittersweet.... this week has been a series of events, saying goodbye, enjoying "last meals" with friends and co-workers, preparing for the mini-marathon in Indy (or wishing I could), packing things here and there, and wrapping up at work. Then my heart shattered on Monday around 2pm.

The McCrackens posted a blog that still brings tears to my eyes at the mention of it. Susie McCracken has now flown home to Jesus. She rests in the company of the angels, my sister, and most importantly the Almighty God... her papa. Her father. She is no longer in pain. But as she is basking in the glory of the Lord, there are family and friends left aching, and it is with those that I ache. Bittersweet is best described knowing someone so deeply, seeing the hurt so intensely, saying goodbye until you reunite in Heaven, knowing that because they are away from you in Heaven they are happier, healthier, and made whole.

Please be praying for them as they walk through these days, weeks, months, and years. Realizing that it won't feel normal, but they will be able to adjust to a "new normal" as dad affectionately calls it.

And so the war continues to rage. The winds of life swirl about me. I am moving to be with Tyson. Can you believe it? God has brought me him; without any help from me. As more and more people find out about this miraculous relationship I continue to say "yeah... its full of redemption, restoration, and God's hand." And so it is again with me moving. A miracle.

Please pray for us. As God gave us Psalm 55 & Zeph 3:17.... we rest in the fact that God is our defender. With a waging war against a relationship that desires to please and glorify God we find ourselves at odds with each other for no (really) good reason.

The war is evident and it never ends. My heart is heavy for the body of Christ today in thinking of war, disease, and sickness. A friend of mine from Common Ground, about my age, has been diagnosed with breast cancer. My heart is aching for her as she was preparing to serve Christ over seas. She is a gift with incredible vision and passion, and certainly this will not squelch this but as she says it is simply a "detour".

The Strands are faithful in updating us on how they are doing. I am so encouraged by this family, Laurie & Greg's marriage, and the family's faith. Please continue to pray for them.

And yet... in the midst of all that is going on our God is good. He is sovereign. And indeed He is hope. I remembered that, watching that sunrise at 6am. My heart was able to rest amidst the blowing winds of life and I will continue to remain in this...

When You said, "Seek My face," my heart said to You,
"Your face, O LORD, I shall seek."

ps- we need someone to fill my spot in an awesome house in Broadripple (Indianapolis). Let me know if you know anyone! :)