Sunday, February 25, 2007

Hurt feelings & new chapters

Have you ever gotten your feelings hurt? I'm sure you have, as I would venture to say most human beings have. I know the phrase "you hurt my feelings" is often overused, but in my case it isn't used often. I suppose I have a hard time saying "you hurt my feelings" because it gets to the essence of me. I don't like being so vulnerable as to say that someone hurt my feelings because that would mean saying that person, or situation, does mean something to me. It isn't a relationship I just blow off, or an evening I will forget about. I am a prideful person and as such saying my feelings were hurt seems a weakness to me. But in reality it isn't.

Yesterday my feelings were hurt. Perhaps unintentionally, but noticeable. They made no effort to remedy the situation but in spite of their lack of effort I tried to put my best foot forward. In turn, a slap in the face. No returned phone call or even a hint of an apology. I suppose when someone knows you're mad they avoid, and when you finally have the conversation it might indeed appear you had no just cause for the anger but in the moment you desired nothing else but to run away and let that person know you didn't need them.

Yes this is just my friend who I am talking about, but in anticipation of a soon reunion I wonder about a conversation, how I will act, what I will say. And I had come to the conclusion that yes my feelings were hurt. I don't like to say it or admit it, but it is the truth. Maybe when this person hears it from me, or another source, they'll think I'm crazy. But guys... the truth is I was given a heart to care, to love, etc., and I can't help it that that is how it made me feel.

When this reunion, of sorts, happens I just pray that however I act, whatever I say, I will walk in truth. I won't hide behind a smile, I won't stomp around in anger, but just simply that all that I do or say will be the truth. No games.

I don't know why I felt compelled to tell you this. But if for nothing else, its ok that people hurt your happens to everyone. But what will you do when you realize they've been hurt? How will you react? Will you extend grace even when its not asked for? Will you show love when perhaps there is hate? Will you thrive in patience when you are awaiting God's will to unfold? I suppose this goes with anything. "The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, & self-control." Let's keep each other accountable a be different. Surrender to the Holy Spirit living inside of us for Him to make the right decisions in our lives- not our sinful nature.

I had been waiting to blog again as I realized it had been a while. These are fresh thoughts off the brain of Katie Umbaugh. Life is going pretty well otherwise. I'm in the midst of wild transitions and adaptations. I have a new job, which is amazing and I'm continually humbled in how much I have to learn daily. I moved south to Broadripple with two amazing roommates. (picture above is us walking around on a "snow day". Everything was closed!) Those are the main updates. Thank you for reading. Thank you for caring. I pray that you are found today in the presence of the Almighty and comforted by His grace.