Saturday, October 21, 2006

Back by popular demand

Anna is with Grandpa Umbaugh & Grandma Mannan. I am with Grandma Umbaugh! We went our for chinese over a month ago! I love my grandparents.

And by popular I mean a one. Sarah Germann. Oh how I love her! And Sarah, because you are most likely the only one reading this, this is for you! :)

So my update on of late I've been in "thinking mode". This usually entails thinking myself into circles, or asking questions with no answers, or asking questions with answers, but those answers are unknown to me. For example, "How long will I be a greeter at Verizon Wireless?" This is a question to which there is an answer, but for obvious reasons, are unknown to me. I feel as if I am in a holding period. I love Jesus & His plans for my life. There is no "but" in which you were expecting, but the simple fact that it is sometimes hard to accept. I don't mind the job all that much, and being with "the lost" again has challenged me & lit a fire inside my soul that hasn't existed in some time. But often I wonder what is the next step? Where is He taking me? There should be no room for doubt if my heart is filled with faith- this is my prayer. I trust where God is leading. Does it ever feel endless to you? Like I might be at verizon forever? This of course isn't true. Sometimes I just wonder...

I do love fall though. I went to Bloomington earlier this evening and the smell of leaves & and seeing the beautiful trees reminded me of a different time in my life. COLLEGE! Oh how I miss it dearly. But as I continue to work 40 hours a week, recieve benefits, and learn what it means to be "independant", I am slowly easing my way into the next phase of life. Weddings, cars, babies, apartments, houses, etc. This is accompanied with death, sickness, and the general awareness that life goes quickly.

Last week my grandmother went into the hospital. At a beaming 83 years old she fell and fractured two bones. She is now moving out of her house into assisted living. Being closely familiar with death's sting, I immediatly feared "losing" her. Shes doing fine now, and enjoy the next phase of her life. She has gone from a life of lonliness and pride, to a life full of social activities & humility. She loves the new phase, but it took her falling to realize this is where she needed to be.

I realize I am writing this while desperately tired, and when I write while I'm tired this don't always make a lot of sense & I tend to ramble on. But then again, this is the flow of thoughts, and things that are on my heart.

With these things said, I'll sign off with a few last thoughts. I'm extremely excited for those getting married, and for a while I didn't know if I wanted to get married. Good news: I still do. So I'm still waiting on that front. I hear the longer you wait the better it is. (as if we have a choice) The job: continually keeping ears & eyes open for an 8-5 that I would love. God will open the door its just a matter of when. In the mean time, I'm in a prime spot for ministry which is awesome. Me & Jesus: Trying to take more time out to hear His voice. Loving His word & studying the fruits of the Spirit.

Thats all. I've of course said too much already. But Sarah, thank you for reading.

baraka kibao (many blessings),