2 Thoughts

So typically when I post a blog I have a profound comment, or some huge moment of inspiration to share. Tonight, I am just me. Not really relaxed, not really happy... praying that I am in a place of just being still. My heart is on the verge of entering into the weight that existed over it today. However, I am taking this time as I eat vegetable soup, with a candle lit beside me, to enjoy just being here for the moment.

I had the option of going to bed on an empty stomach or writing small number of you who read my blog.

2 things I want to share with you.

Thought #1:
First things first, my Grandfather has been home with Jesus, Sarah, and others, for almost a month now. Crazy to think like that knowing how long those 3 weeks were prior to his death. My family is doing ok.

Last night on my way to the gym I stopped by mom and dad's. William (aka Nugget) was there, and as I ran toward him to say goodbye his giggles didn't stop. Dad was talking with my Grandma, and handed me the phone. Will and I giggled with Grandma on speaker and then I shared some deeper thoughts with her.

Gma: "Katie, you'll have to come up here and get a table cloth"

KT: "Grandma, I wish I had a table to put it on" - I do have a table which was cleared up, but we laughed talking about the "single life" that I lead. Not too many needs for a tablecloth except to throw baby and wedding showers

Gma: "You know what? I'm learning to let go of a lot more material things. You know they just don't matter all that much."

KT: "You're right Grandma. Thats why we need to live with open hands."

Gma: "Yep. Eventually I'll be where Grandma Mannan (my other gma in a nursing home) is and I won't be able to take all this with me. And I won't have a trailer full of my stuff behind my grave, so I might as well get rid of it now."

For me this is such a good image. Its sobering to think if my Grandma leaving earth, entering into Heaven with her earthly husband but as the bride of Christ. There is hope in that, and reminds me that life on earth is short. Almost too short to think, question, and to avoid truly living. Materials are here today and gone tomorrow. They are a gift, thats to be sure, but lets hang out hats on the eternal. I just really liked our conversation and I pray that it blesses you as you think about living with open hands; allowing the Lord to give and take away. Enjoying each action knowing His will is good, pleasing, and perfect.

Thought #2:

I will share with you, my dear companions, what I have been learning. I guess I have been learning to abide. That idea is not an easy one to take in... it encompasses everything and nothing all at the same time. Part of that is to see how the vision of the promise (land) helped the guys in the OT (Old Testament) to abide in the Lord & follow Him daily. I would say about 6 months ago I embarked upon reading Genesis. I would not read whole chapters at a time, but just 8 or so verses. That way I could digest what was happening. I am now into Exodus and loving knowing God in those contexts and how that relates and He works in my every day.

Lets take a side step and talk about Moses. He has been the focus on these first 13 chapters of Exodus, so to use him as an example is fitting. He, often with fear, surrendered to the Lord. He was brought up in a palace, and when he knew his true heritage, given the option he left. He "lowered" himself in the eyes of the world to join his people- the Isrealites. God had a hand on them since Abraham, through Isaac, Jacob, and Joseph. God was ready to set his people free. So Moses, by faith hearing God's desire for him, when to Pharaoh 12 times. He asked him each time to let his people go, and if not God would bring a plague. Each time God answered, the magicians tried to answer, Pharaoh said he would let them go, then immediately when there was relief he took it back. "His heart was hardened". Why? To make God's glory known.

Here is what shook me up as I read through all 12 plagues - "God why would you harden Pharaoh's heart 11 times?" To make His glory known among both peoples. For the Israelites they wanted to believe that God was setting them free. I would imagine after 12 plagues of efforts they were discouraged, but how could they also not be in awe when the God who is fighting for their freedom has such power? And loves other (their enemies none-the-less) to make His glory known? Because that is the flip side I kept forgetting about. God loved the Egyptians too. He wanted them to see His glory. He wanted them to be saved, to know the glorious riches that are found in Christ. Ahh... God is good friends. Even to our enemies.

So with that I bid you goodnight. I pray that this somehow brought encouragement to your hearts. I knew that I needed to write you. I miss you. I miss processing on here with you. Thank you for allowing me to do so. Thank you blogger for giving me this forum to express myself and my thoughts of an eternal holy God.

God is rich in every capacity- rich in love, rich in kindness, rich in grace, rich in His presence, rich in goodness, rich in mercy... and those are what He is pouring out over us tonight. Soak Him up. Soak in the blessing. Know that God loves you.

Somber but peaceful,
Katie