Identity Redefined... Constantly

So, last night I was able to participate in a panel at Grace Community Church. I grew up going to Grace, and in the Sr. High youth group (now named "Merge") is where the foundations of my faith were built.

They had a panel of 5 people on the stage there. We each talked about our time in the youth group, how our view of God has changed since, things we took away from it, and then any advice we could offer. Each of us had different angles but were all supportive of the others points. It was great for me to be there, in that place, pray and speak to the kids who sit int he proverbial seat that I did just 8 years ago.

It was really cool to hear their perspectives, and to really express my own. To see Rob Yonan, "Mighty" Mike Chandler, Phil Bender, and Debbie Schaffer in the room, really kept it in perspective. To see their committed faces, still there, years later, and years before me, I was encouraged.

Anyway, onto identity. The other night I was talking with Tyson (story to come later), and we were talking about the idea of moving, etc. I was having an extremely bad day - for no apparent reason other than I was walking in selfishness and sin. I was freaking out at the idea, really grasping what it would mean. (and you know I'm a "moving" junkie) I began to explain how I would "lose myself".... "I would leave my job, my family, my friends, my roommates, my house, my church, my community, etc." I continued to complain until the point of tears. Gosh I was a mess.

Then, we began to pray at the end of the phone call. God brought some heavy truth to my earlier complaint. "Where is your identity?" "Who are you to be found in?" The answer is obvious, or maybe not so. But earlier in the conversation it would seem as if I was finding my identity in the things I did, the people I knew, the community I was in, the job I had. That night was a fresh Spirit reminder that my identity needs to be found in Christ.

To wrap this story back to the beginning, the students were able to ask questions after the panel. There was one girl, toward the end, who asked (something along this line...) "How did you just be yourself, and not be influenced by others?" Or... "how did you figure out who you are?" They were good at asking questions, and often times "the panel" would look from side to side kind of like..'Ummm...." However, I tried to answer and had nothing. I ended up saying "Just be yourself" not really knowing how to actually accomplish that.

With so much around you, so many different styles, likes, dislikes, personalities, religions, clothing stores, hair colors, cars, incomes, book bags, classes to take, cliques to hang with... how do you just be you? In that sea of endless possibilities and judgements?

In humility at the generic "non-answer" I gave, I handed the mic to Maven, who was sitting next to me. While she was giving a good explanation of how you kind of learn from each other in high school; pulling from different styles and tastes and "discovering" who you are, I remembered my moment of humility the night before. "CHRIST"

Maven handed the mic back as I told this awesome high school student, that just last night, at age 25, I realize (once again) that my identity needs to be found in Christ. Yes, you will discover what you like and don't like. In my previous answer I had said "try new things and find out what interests you and what you are good at doing at do it". Then it comes full circle. God gave you talents and gifts, and ultimately to live those out in Christ is your identity. First, and always, you are a child of God. Live into that. Grow into that, and the rest will come together as it may.

So it doesn't matter if I live here, Chicago, Kenya, California, or where ever God may take me. It doesn't matter what church I attend, how far away my family is, or who I love. [I thought I had learned this in Kenya]

I am a child of God.

Mulling over this beautiful realization with Lydia over dinner (before youth group) she reminded me of a JJ Heller song which I love. It goes like this...

True Things

I am not the clothes I’m wearing
I am not a photograph
I am not the car I drive

I am not the money I make
I am not the things I lack
I am not the songs I write

I am… who I am
I am who I am

There are true things inside of me
I have been afraid to see
I believe, help my unbelief
Would you say again what you said to me
I am loved
I am free
I believe, help my unbelief

I am not the house I live in
I am not the man I love
I am not the mistakes that I carry

I am not the food that I don’t eat
I am not what I’m above
I am not my scars and my history
To your love
I’m waking up
In your love
I’m waking up


Be encouraged. Live into Jesus, and who He created you to be. As Maven said "There has never been anything to prove."

Love,
Kate