A Day of Birth

Today marks what would have been my sister Sarah’s 29^th birthday. This morning I was thinking about all of her birthdays, and how we used to celebrate. If she were here we would probably be going to Benihana. She would have gotten the combo meal with shrimp & steak, eat one bite of salad, and most of her soup. Then we would have told them it was her birthday, they would have come out, we would sing, and then she would get a Polaroid photo taken with some crazy balloon hat on her head. She wouldn’t have been embarrassed – she would have soaked it up loving every minute. That’s what we would have done. But she isn’t here, so today I will go about my normal routine; whatever it is I do without Sarah being present. My head is filled with memories of her birthdays, but there are others who are filled with other memories more painful. No not her death- however painful it is to remember the hospital bed, us singing to her, praying with her, weeping over her… not those memories.

I thought of my mom. I thought about how she doesn’t immediately remember restaurants, hats, and songs; she remembers giving birth. She can remember Sarah, 29 years ago today, meeting her first child. She remembers Sarah’s first bath, Sarah’s first step, Sarah’s first word, Sarah’s first smile. She remembers Sarah’s first and last day of her life. Of course my dad too. That is something I cannot understand. That is a pain I can’t imagine feeling. So I pray for them today. I pray that they would see her in their dreams. I pray that they would be able to celebrate that 29 years ago they welcomed their first child into the world. And in a few months, they would be able to celebrate that they ushered that same child back into Heaven where she came from; 3 years ago. That is my prayer today. Pray with me.


Mom & Dad with Sarah Jane: