A sobering, humbling weekend

God's grace is enough. It is enough to hold us. To get us through. It is enough for us to walk through the fire and not be burned, but come out more pure and ready to serve Him. His grace is enough.

Let me just run through the past weekend with you. This is not to feel bad for me in any way. I am thankful for the time I had this weekend, seeing the pain of others...allowing me, or reminding me, to be thankful for where I am; who is in my life; and the life that God has graciously given me.

Even as I think about it now my life comes with much responsibility."To whom much is given much is expected". Perhaps I'm not rich in the eyes of NFL players, politicians, "stars"... but those on the street, in the slum, or at the orphanage I have much. With that said...

FRIDAY:
On Friday night I had the privilege to volunteer for a benefit concert, hosted at Common Ground. (my place of worship) It was free, but there were t-shirts, and bands playing, to raise awareness and couple bucks for the worthy cause. "Whats the cause Katie?" You ask. Its Love146. I'm not sure if you're familiar with what is happening in the world today with sex slavery but it is outrageous. My eyes are being opened to this wretched situation that exists around the world, and has for decades, maybe even centuries. My heart breaks for those existing in it- for it is a life, at 8 years old I can't imagine.

The good news is Love 146 is doing something about it. Please check them out. Become aware. The shear fact of you just knowing about it is helping.

SATURDAY:
This is something I hadn't prepared myself for. If you read a few blogs ago, I mention Leslie, Tyson, and Tj. Leslie is one of Anna's best friends, who recently, went home to Jesus. Cancer was the assassin, but Jesus is her savior.

Anyway, the fam went up to Bolingbrook, IL for it. Lyd unfortunately couldn't make it. But Laura and I left saturday morning. On the way up we shared our hearts, we shared laughter, and hours later we shared tears. As I sat in the auditorium of the high school, listened to my sister sing "In Better Hands Now", grasping the finality of that, the victory of that, I was humbled.

Following her song, Tyson (Leslie's husband), took the stage with his church's worship band. We praised God together. We praised Him in the storm. We thanked Him and recognized Him for who He is. All led by a broken and hurting man. It was the most beautiful picture of God's redemption. He is redeeming Tyson. He HAS redeemed Leslie- she is home. She crossed the finish line. And I can't begin to tell you the lives that this warrior family has touched.

They said that their blog was read in over 70 countries. Over 100,000 readers have seen it. By their blog alone, by one families trial, by one family's faith & willingness to share, God has opened the eyes of thousands.

Tyson continues a blog here. Please pray for them. Now that the memorial services are over, a deeper sorrow will probably set it. The finality of her being gone. The truth that he won't get to see hundreds of people every weekend to talk about his wife. Please pray for Him.

SUNDAY:
Following the events in Illinois, we had one more stop to make. With continuous laughter from Laura and myself we journeyed on to Plymouth, Indiana. A place filled with so many memories. We ate, of course, at the local Pizza Hut.

Now, this trip wasn't to just see the Grandparents. We received a warning last week that my grandfather isn't well. He is my Father's dad. He is awesome you guys. If you met him you would love him instantly. He is JUST like my dad, only a little taller. He was in the navy. He loves Jesus. And he loves my Grandma.

He was doing ok when we saw him. I am thankful we made the trip. We also got to see my mom's mom. But really, as I watched my grandma lean on my grandpa. As I watched her say goodbye because they can't live together anymore (after over 60 or 70 years) my heart broke. This is life. All roads lead here. Or the lead to leaving earlier. But they do end eventually.

I told Laura she should have brought Brandt to the nursing home so that he would get a picture of what long lasting, steadfast, love looks like in the face of Alzheimer's, broken hips, and memory loss.

And so I return. I return to Broadipple. I return to my singlehood. I return to my 25 year old, relatively healthy, body. I don't have cancer. I am free from sex slavery. I'm not in a wheel chair. I am thankful for the breath I am breathing now.

It is important now that I take what I saw this weekend to my heart, but also use it to change my days. To keep perspective. To change who I live for. They live for God. Leslie lived & died for her savior, and mine, Jesus Christ. Why would I not do the same? For this life is but a breath. I pray as I exhale one day I will see the faces of those I've loved, those who have loved me, and the moments when I obeyed, followed, and loved my Jesus well. And through that- lived my life to the fullest.

The Pit & A New Song

What is so beautiful about God? Besides the obvious majesty, power, love, etc., He is able to redeem... even a wretch like me.

Just 2 minutes ago I began to type a blog, regarding "the pit". If you're familiar with God's word you are probably familiar with the "pit". This pit being what I've felt like I am in. I have heard sermons preached on it, taught it in Sunday school, seen people fall in what I thought it was, and talked about it in Bible studies.

However, lately, my outcry to the Lord is one of desperation. I am requesting redemption from this slump I'm in. Its not as if I have turned my back on God, or I'm not spending time with Him, and neglecting His word. But rather just the opposite. I am filling my life with praise music, seeking Him more, and being diligent in the Word.

Which brings me to another point... as I was brushing my teeth I thought "Abba, if I turned every worry, every thought about the future, every concern, into a prayer- I would be in a much better state than I am now.

Anyway, back at the ranch - the pit. So I knew the Bible discusses this pit, and typically when I share with you (my sometimes existent blog readers) I like to share where the scripture comes from. Thankfully God often writes it on my heart, however, due to painful memory loss I have a hard time knowing where on earth it is. So I went to our good resource "www.biblegateway.com" to find it. No sir- the "pit" was only found in Genesis & Exodus. I knew it was somewhere in the Psalms. I gave up. I almost didn't write a blog tonight.

Then I thought "He put a new song in my heart". Because that is what I am longing for I thought I could share that nugget of hope with you. Unbeknown est to me God has wisdom in this thought flow. As I googled it, the praise song came up, and then a Christian blog. The blog that came up covered Pslam 40. Are you ready?

1 I waited patiently for the LORD;
he turned to me and heard my cry.

2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.

3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the LORD.

4 Blessed is the man
who makes the LORD his trust,
who does not look to the proud,
to those who turn aside to false gods.

I cannot express to you the pertinence of this scripture in my heart tonight. For a couple weeks I have realized my distrust in God. I have prayed that my feet would be firmly planted in Him. Do you see what I see? God just brought it full circle, in one scripture, I haven't read recently by my desire to write a blog. Tears rolled down my cheeks when I saw that it was all there. As I spent time with Him this morning- He reminded me "Remember My faithfulness Katie".

He is so faithful. So trustworthy. So good. Pray for me. Pray that I would trust the only truly trustworthy being. The God of the universe. The God of my salvation. The God of my heart.

I pray that you are encouraged to spend time with Him. Remember Him. For He never forgets you.

Love your not so faithful blog writer,
Katie

A forward...Powerful Womans Motto

I'm sure if you're reading a blog you are updated on recent technologies. For years you have been checking email, from AOL, to yahoo, and now probably on to gmail. Well, my mom hasn't been so updated.

For quite a few years we've helped her turn on the computer, open up Microsite Word, and print. Recently she has figured out how to turn on the computer, type in Word, and print for herself. Of course the most recent venture is email. Oh ... this has been a big one. But I think she is getting the swing of things on gmail, and is learning how to work "g-chat".

Anyway, I opened up my email at work the other day and saw an email from "Barb Umbaugh". The subject line was "FWD: Fw: Powerful Womans Motto". So naturally I skip it. I made announcement in the office that my mom just learned how to email & is sending me forwards. And of course the wide response was 'OOOOHHHHHH NO"! :) I love my mom.

So today I come over to my parents and mom asks if I read it. I explain the culture of email and the typical reaction people have when seeing there is a forward in their inbox. So she was trying to find it, couldn't, so I logged on and grabbed it. Turns out I really should've read it when she sent it to me because I needed it. But it will now be my motto!

Powerful Women's Motto:
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders & says... "Oh crap....she's awake!!"

The War is Over...

I wrote the following blog last night when I found out that Leslie went home to Jesus. I just finished reading Tyson's blog.
I would say, at this moment, I am grieving more than I was last night. When Sarah died I was told grief comes in waves. On Tuesday night, on my knees before the Throne of God, I was battling for Leslie. During my prayers I saw a picture of a wave coming over my family, remembered those words about grief, knowing that Leslie would bring the next wave. I don't mean that in a bad way, but certainly you can understand that grief comes in waves... as do the "good" and "bad" times of life. The beautiful thing about belonging to a God who defies all "logic", there is "good" in what we consider "bad". There is hope in what we consider death.

Anna was telling me last week that Tj's (Leslie & Tyson's son), favorite song is "Mighty To Save". I personally loved that song, so to know a 2 year old knew every word I was 1. impressed and 2. thankful - that God chose that song to give Tj a love for. The words are filled with hope. "Savior. He can move the mountains. Our God is mighty to save."

In my moment of wonderment as Anna told me about that, I forgot some of the words. Today at church we worshiped, asked for forgiveness, and generally let the Spirit move us. The last song we sang today was "Mighty to Save".... and I began to cry as I pictured little Tj singing such a powerful truth - and the words sang over me like a blanket of peace...

HE ROSE AND CONQUERED THE GRAVE. JESUS CONQUERED THE GRAVE!

So with that, as tears continue to roll down my cheeks, I am thankful for Leslie's life, Tyson's life, and Tj's life. All three have ministered greatly to me, and I hope you too. Pray for them with me down the road ahead. And here is my blog post about the end of Leslie's war...

The war is over but she left footprints. The Lord used, and continues to use, Leslie in other's lives. She has touched me more deeply than most in my life. Through their blog I have been blessed enough to stay on top of their lives. Through prayer God has built a giant love for their family. Tj was the first baby I really took a liking to, and Leslie let me babysit. :)

Not only did Leslie touch my life, but she touched Anna's deeply. I believe they were kindred spirits. As Tyson mentioned to Anna they "speak their own language".

I guess things just move faster than anticipated. Tonight Leslie flew home to be with our Maker, Redeemer, and Lord. She is shouting joyfully for she has made it home... to a home we have yet to know but by abundant peace in the Spirit- we can "only imagine." There is no more battle. There is no more waging war. Because of Jesus... Leslie won. The war is over and she got to go home.

Of course after every battle, every war, there is damage. In the heat of battle there is a quake left, lives impacted, and hurting hearts. The end of this war is no different. Leslie leaves a 2 year old son (almost three) and a loving husband. The battle, and war, is not yet over for them. Because of the wounds left on these two soldiers, the "Healer" the "Doctor" must come. I pray for this tonight over Tyson and Tj... and the rest of Leslie's close family and friends... and everyone she touched. That as they sleep, and approach the thrown of grace, that in the midst of their hurt, their pain, and the long road of healing ahead of them... that they can thank the God who created Leslie to begin with. Thank God, who loves Leslie more than they ever could. And thank God that Leslie is healed, made whole, and sits in the arms of the Almighty, Eternal, Everlasting, Loving, God.

Tonight I thank God that He is Emmanuel. That He is with us. That in those precious moments in the hospital, that they were filled with the peace of God as He took her home, but remained with them. I thank God for His power. I thank God for His love. I thank God that she breaths easy in Heaven right now - and that she unites with my big sister until I see them again.

I long for that day. May I live, every day, for Jesus. Because God lived everyday so that He could die for me... God give me the strength to live every day so that I can die for You. Like Sarah did. Like Leslie did. Spread a blanket of peace now...

In Jesus Name,
Amen

The War

In our language (the American English language) we tend to toss around the word "battling" a lot; usually related to sickness. "I'm battling a cold" "I'm battling this cough" "I'm battling cancer"

I have encountered these battles; whether I have gone through them or those close to me have. More recently a friend (view their blog), I've mentioned before, has undergone a serious battle. One in which she didn't ask for, but nonetheless is fighting. She has cancer. It went from her sinus and is now surrounding her lungs. After extensive surgeries, forehead replacement, Leslie and her husband and son are certainly warriors in this battle.

For those of you who don't know Leslie is my sister Anna's kindred spirit. They met years ago and instantly became friends. Leslie has been a rock for Anna, and the roles have switched. Anna's pain from losing our sister Sarah at the point of her cancer spreading to her lungs, is surfacing through Leslie's battle, and is now a battle for her as well. She aches for her dear friend, and has asked me to pray.

I thought - why not take it one step further- there is a world of prayers out there. Across the globe. I would ask that you would pray.

Dictionary.com describes a battle like so: a hostile encounter or engagement between opposing military forces

This would insinuate that there are teams, or forces, fighting against one another. And typically a battle is part of a war. So in Leslie's case, in your case, who is your force and what is the war?

I believe we have the opportunity to join forces with Leslie in her battle against cancer; while not losing focus of the war that is raging around us. For the battle is not against flesh and blood (Eph 6)... however we can continually pray for one another and our voices will be heard. God exists on earth, it is a matter if we recognize His presence, and ask for His power believing that He is able.

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego (Daniel 3)- they were asked to denounce the Lord. The said no, throw us into the flames, and we know our God CAN save us... but even if He doesn't, we still won't bow down to your god. So what happened? They were thrown into the flames.... in the dungeon. There was a battle. As they were in the "heat" of the battle (no pun intended) a dude, a guard perhaps, saw not three men in that dungeon walking around (in the flames mind you) but FOUR. (i.e. JESUS) Praise God right? EMMANUEL. But remember, they said "But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up."

So, lets press forward knowing the victory is in Jesus. He died on the cross that we might have eternal life- so we don't get caught up in the temporary, but live for things eternal. The battles are here, lets fight them, knowing the victory (OVER DEATH) is won. Participate with me in fighting with one another... victories are won in Jesus daily if we fight for THAT force, and not our flesh.

I plead with you - fight the fight for Leslie. Pray for her, pray for the Body of Christ around the world, and pray. Just pray. God is with you. He is listening. He is speaking, if we only let Him!

The Lord talks about these battles, or trials...

"when you will face trials of many kind" (James 1:2)

"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. " (Eph 6:10)

And... he talks about fighting.
"Fight the good fight of the faith." (1 Tim 6:12)

And the armor:
"Therefore put on the full armor of God, ... "(Eph 6:13-18)

And from our friend Oswald Chambers... a word on victory.

A humbled heart

25

A number seemingly insignificant. The big ones are usually 16, 21, 30, 40, 50, etc. But for me 25 was really significant. I'm not sure what it is about my birthday but I love this day. Not in a way that I get to celebrate me, but I am so humbled by the overwhelming communication received.

Even if some are just simply facebook wall posts... someone took the time to see it was my birthday, go to my page, and wish me a happy birthday. 25- seemingly no big deal.

Today was beautiful in so many ways. Starting at 8am the text messages starting rolling in. I received phone calls pretty steadily throughout the day and tonight was dinner with my family. When I got back from our seminar this morning, that MediaSauce was hosting, my mom dropped off the most beautiful flowers! Filled with Lillys and roses... making my office smell lovely. Ahhh...

Then, I went out to lunch to my favorite (When Eddie Met Salad), then Dunkin' Donuts iced coffee, then work. Then at work they surprised me with a card signed by all and a cake- in which they gathered up the troops and they all sang "Happy Birthday" to me. It just meant a lot to me - that a few people went out of their way to make this day so special to me.

At dinner my family surprised me with a restaurant I had never been before- and they had sweet potato fries. wowza. They were good! And then the gifts...I won't go into it, but I feel undeserving and thankful. Laura pleaded with me that I not feel guilty; that the gifts are an expression of their love for me. Well I feel loved!

When I got home tonight there was a gift in the mail from my friend Ashley- out in CA. It is her favorite classic novel and I can't wait to dive into it.

So many kind words today. So many humbling moments. I just want to give glory to God for such a tremendous day. I love Him so much, and as asked, I will give as I have received. May this be the desire and action of my heart. As He allows me to receive good gifts, may He equip me with the same heart to give.

So I wanted to thank you. I'm sure in some way you played a part. Thank you for the cards, the calls, the gifts, the texts, and yes even the facebook messages and wall posts. They all meant the world to me. On this one day, God has given me a tiny glimpse of how much He loves me. I pray that we will all get to feel this at some point in our lives. You gave me a bigger gift than I could've asked for- I felt loved. It wasn't about money, cakes, or food. You rallied around me. You wished me a happy birthday. You were glad I, little 'ol me, was born. Thank you. Thank you for loving me so well.

From the whole of my heart,
Katie

A Kahuna

My thoughts have been overflowing. I was sitting on a plane last night coming home from Florida missing my blog. I was hand writing an enormous thought and processing and I needed you dear blog.

Anyway, alas, I am at my computer once again. This won't be the kahuna- that will come tonight or tomorrow. But I did want to share something cool with you. I'm reading "Irresistible Revolution", sweet book by the way, but its really stretching my brain. Still not my point - in it - he mentions a company that after coming to know the Lord, they wanted to remain in the same vocation but now everything is fair trade.

So if you want to propose (make sure I would say yes first) and then buy the ring from: CRED

I found the website when I returned to my computer. They are out of the UK, I believe retailers are in London, but they make beautiful jewelry and a beautiful statement. They stand for something bigger and are standing against blood diamonds and that rotten industry. I'm not sure if you've seen the movie "Blood Diamond" - but that isn't far from the truth. In fact isn't it based off a true story?

It is something I have become intrigued with, and wanted to spread the good news! So check out CRED.

Support their mission with me.

A Call for Prayer...

I know I know- I could write one every day. This world is in so much need- every human has a reason to call upon the Almighty. Today, I am asking that you call upon Him for our friend Leslie.

She has cancer. She had it in her sinus, and it is now in her lungs making it difficult to breath. There is quite in bit in there, and they aren't sure as to the procedures they are going to take yet. It hits home, having lost Sarah to lung cancer- we are claiming victory through Jesus Christ for her life. She is married to Godly man, Tyson, and has a beautiful 2(I think) year old son named Tj. I weep with them - and I ask that you pray too.

Please read their blog. (especially the most recent) It will move your heart to worship through tears.

I read about Moses this morning. I read about God opening the red sea, closing it, swallowing the Egyptians, putting them into "confusion", the plagues, and the VICTORY through God that the Israelites received. That is what I claim for Leslie, Tyson, and Tj.

Lovingly yours,
Katie

A word from my dad...

So, this year I am hosting mother's day. Our typical hosting places (Mom & Anna's) - should not be occupied on this day due to the fact that it's their day!

So- I sent an email to the non-moms asking about food, and Sunday's extravaganza...I asked about food, Laura said she could make some cheesy potatoes, and I mentioned to dad that he said grilling and I asked if I should get some meat and then in response I get this awesome message from my dad. Quick, short, and to the point:

"I have tons of meat. I have propane. I have skills. We can talk. I got it covered. I love you. You are special! Love Daddy."

I thought the response was so good I HAD to post it. My dad makes me smile, and has really been helping me keep a good perspective lately. I love him a lot & wanted to share! I hope you enjoyed his response.

Passions ignited

God is everywhere. He is a God of the nations, and miraculously became the God of my heart - by no small sacrifice on His part.

I say this because He has ignited my passions again. He has brought my heart back to a continent I love like my own, and has set a fire in me for the people of Africa which can not be quenched.

A couple years ago, I was talking about what I did in Kenya, and how I loved those people and what I desire to see happen in those programs. One lady said how she didn't see why people go to other countries to help those people when we have so many hurting here. At the time I had nothing to say in response. However, since, I have been enveloped in an amazing group of people through my church. I am seeing more and more people's gifting and passions work for the full body. I don't believe everyone has to have the exact same passions, and gifts. We are the body of Christ; one body made up of many members. (1 Cor 12:12)

All that to say - my heart is for people here but it is also for people in Africa. I am praying about how to be more involved on a regular basis. There is a really neat organization call Blood:Water Mission. You should check it out.


They are a solid organization doing great things in the continent of Africa. I thought I would let you see a little bit of whats going on over there. I like to throw you cool stuff I find in hopes that it will inspire, encourage, break you, or just inform if you didn't know.

For me, when I see things like this, it is cause to worship. There are so many out there doing good things. Lets rally behind them. Join them to BE witnesses. As so simply stated at church on Sunday, people's last words are very important. Jesus' last words were this:

"It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth." (Acts 1:7-8)

All I want is to BE His witness. To go to the ends of the earth - no matter where that is.

At the bottom of my previous post, there is a journal entry... I just stumbled on it, and it reminds me again of where I am now. Check it out- longing.

3 years ago...

3 years ago I didn't know that my sister would be gone in less than 24 hours. 3 years ago I was falling asleep in my bed, in my town house, in Bloomington. 3 years ago I was still grieving the loss of a friend in war. 3 years I had no idea what it was like to say goodbye- for good.

• 3 years ago and 3 hours I would know what its like to get the call "The doctor said it will be less than 24 hours.
• 3 years ago and 3.5 hours I would know what its like to drive 4 of us to the Carmel St.V's knowing that we were racing against the clock to say goodbye to our sister - trying to stay on the road.
• 3 years ago and 12 hours I would know what its like to be waiting for the inevitable. I would know what it was like for people to come and say their goodbyes. To apologize and make right hurt feelings and relationships.
• 3 years ago and 14 hours I would know what it was like to begin to wish to see your very own sister go to heaven instead of seeing her face the pain she is in.
• 3 years ago and 20 hours I would know what it was like to watch machines be turned off because that part of her God given body was no longer working. I would know what it was like to feel a hot hand go cold.
  
• 3 years ago and 20.5 hours I would know what it was like to see the mountains the heart monitor made, turn into a flat road.
• 3 years ago and 1 day I would lie in my bed hating that I had to leave her empty body at the hospital... crying from deep within me - from a place I didn't know existed - not knowing how to pray just continually crying out "God - Oh God".
• 3 years ago and 2 days I knew what it was like to begin to plan your sister's funeral. Help write her eulogy. I knew what it was like to receive cards, flowers, phone calls, and emails continually saying "I'm sorry for your loss. I'm praying for you".
  
• 3 years ago and 3 days I would know what it was like to somehow go to the mall and figure out what to wear to your big sister's funeral. Learning how to eat when you weren't really hungry- trying not to cry at the drop of a hat.
• 3 years ago and 4 days I would learn what it was like to see my big sister, lifeless, in a casket. I would know what it was like to see friends come out of the wood work - maybe they didn't know Sarah but they knew me and that was enough.
• 3 years ago and 5 days I would know what it was like to stand up in front of hundreds of people and say my last words about my sister I knew for 21 years. I would know what it was like to watch my sister's body get buried in the ground, knowing her soul - herself - was in heaven.
• 3 years ago I had no idea what was about to happen in 2 hours... and now, here i sit - having not seen my sister in 3 years. It is with tears I write and ache for her. I still can't believe this happened to us; and yet God has already gotten me through 3 years. I have experienced a lot in the 3 years Sarah's been gone. And that makes me sad to know she doesn't know some of my friends. She doesn't know about KAA. She doesn't know about Kenya.

But I guess it doesn't matter anyway - because I know what shes been doing the past 3 years. And the best part is, she doesn't have to come back to this sinful world - full of death, loss, heartbreak, hunger, tears, etc, But I get to go where she is, and where my Father is, waiting for me. I get to run on the streets of gold and worship God as I was made to. That is the day I long for.

So while these 3 years have been far from easy, and however many I have left to live... I anxiously await my time with my sister where there will be no heart monitors, no sin, no guilt, no shame, no regret...I long I ache I crave that day.

FROM ANNA'S WEDDING: Julie, Liza, Lydia, Me, & Sarah

HE IS RISEN

HE IS RISEN INDEED!

What a glorious day we celebrate today. EASTER. Jesus' rising from the dead. Doesn't that cry out a hallelujah in your soul? If it doesn't - you're missing out.

I wanted to write again because today at church I was overcome by the gift it is to have assurance of salvation. But more than that, to know one who loves me as much as God does. I know most of you are familiar with John 3:16 "God so loved the world, that He gave His only son..." Its almost as if we've allowed that verse to be watered down. We've heard it so many times. On signs, on bags from stores, on cars, and maybe even on a t-shirt. But if you take it apart and allow your mind to marinate on it you'll be astonished and blown away by the power behind it.

God - the infinite, holy, unparalleled, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, creator the universe, creator of YOU, righteous, just, all-knowing, mighty, Emmanuel, Great I am, Prince of Peace, Living God, Ancient of Days, Alpha, Omega, Messiah, Loving GOD.

HE had a Son, and sent Him to die. FOR YOU. And for me! That is love my friends. A love that is only known by Him, through Him, and for Him. After death, comes life. And that life is what we celebrate today. Amen?

Man... after singing one of my all time favorite worship songs today "Sing to the King" I thought I would lose my voice, that my feet would never stop moving, that my arms couldn't get high enough, and surely my heart was going to beat right out of my chest.

For His returning we watch and we pray
We will be ready the dawn of that day
We’ll join in singing with all the redeemed
‘Cause Satan is vanquished and Jesus is King

That is the truth that we can cling to. That is the absolute steadfast truth that will never change. And that hope only comes through knowing the God of the universe.

Ya'll - I am thankful that Jesus is my God. There is so much more to live for, and death isn't death. It is "falling asleep in Jesus". I pray that today you will know this hope - and if you don't that you would inquire about it. Pick up a Bible, start in Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John and you'll have a good picture of what I'm talking about.

He is risen - He is risen indeed. Lets celebrate.

Love,
A daughter of the King

World News Coverage

Here is a thought provoking video. Afterwards, consider researching, traveling, and praying about how you can get involved in the world at large. God is bigger than the USA.


via videosift.com

The hope of a game...

Still as I sit and typed I'm bummed. I watch the Hoosiers every year in hope of some amazing dash to the NCAA finals. A flash back of 2002. But no such luck. Its been a rough year for the Hoosiers. I've heard a lot through friends who are close with the team. I've heard about some struggles, the need of God, the need of hope, and still, they get hit. Losing their coach had to be the biggest one. It was obvious on the court the outcome of such a loss.

Well... for me, this week, was a tough one. I won't go into details. I'll save the WORLD wide web from all my personal info, but I will say it wasn't easy. However, I don't look on my "hard" week as if I'm the only one. And really, compared to other weeks of life, this probably wouldn't even rank in the top 10. But nevertheless, I didn't just sail through. Point being, you ask? "Katie - why all this 'beating around the bush?' " I'll tell you why - the hope of a game!

Today is/was Good Friday. The day we celebrate the death of Jesus Christ. I tried to be conscience of what this day was, who it was we were celebrating, and what He came to do, and did. Through out the day I would grab a hold of my cross necklace I was given at my baptism. Remembering the sacrifice of Jesus. Thank Him, and make conscious efforts to rest in Him. But oh how I allowed myself to be swayed by the winds of life's storm. (deep - I know)

For real though - today just wasn't great. I haven't been so ready for a weekend. Then I had dinner with the roomies after work. That was nice. Then I went to watch those dearly beloved Indiana Hoosiers. I had been anticipating the game more this year than in year's past. I filled out brackets this year, watched the Hoosiers & followed their season. Really cheering for my boy DJ White. I also hadn't been in my community (my House Church) for a couple weeks. I just got back from Florida on Monday and missed a couple Wednesdays. Anxious to see them, I went to watch them game.

Boy were they in for a treat. I was SO grumpy. I kept watching the game in utter amazement that we just couldn't pull ahead. When people would offer me hope, I would shoot them down. It was as if my mind was set on the day ending badly- with a bad bracket and a bad game. Well both were accomplished. My hope, a good IU win, was gone. They lost.

So what happens next? I say goodbye to my friends, who I didn't even enjoy because of my mood, and walk out of the apartment. Immediately tears well up in my eyes. Thankfully that didn't happen there, but there was some deep stuff brewing. I really hadn't put my hope in Jesus. And really its not even an hour later I write this to you but there is a bigger peace. Although, tears could come a drop of a hat, and the issues that were on my mind before still are.

But the Holy Spirit has a way of "calling us out". Of saying "whoa nelly - that's where your hope is?" I mean, my hope really wasn't in the game, but it was almost as if I was subconsciously begging God "Please let IU. Please give me an up point". Alas - they didn't. But the song that continues to play in my head is "Jesus paid it all. All to Him I owe. Sin had left a crimson stain. He washed it white as snow." Praise the Lord, amen?! I do want IU to win - I'm still sad they didn't.

But when I think of things above, and not below, perspective changes. Circumstance may not change, and people may not change, but perspective can and really some days a different perspective, a different way of thinking about things, makes a world of difference.

And with that I bid you a happy Good Friday & a Happy Easter. In a day we'll celebrate His giving us life. Oh how awesome it is to be loved by Him. Help me soak that in. Help me keep things in perspective.

Baraka Kibau,
Katie

ps- things are still happening in Kenya. please keep praying. pray for peace to pass in the government and among the people.

pps- this is a pic from Florida. The trip was amazing & mom & I had a blast for about 5 days in Marco Island.

The Church in Kenya

This is a cool video someone shared with me. I have yet to attempt to embed a video on my blog- but I thought I would give it a try. There is hope in Kenya, and its the presence of God. Join the globe in praying for Kenya.

Are you ready for update? I don't think you are.

Wow has it been a while?! I have neglected you blog - and blog readers. I suppose instead of talking to you (the imaginary reader) I have had a lot of face to face interactions. Thankfully in the recent months I have begun to like coffee. Not not just a latte - but coffee. However, I'm not to black yet. It still needs cream and sugar. I say that because I have had "coffee" with many. Truly God has been blowing me away with His movement in and around my life.

With the recent happenings in Kenya (which are still proceeding - please continue your prayers) - He has given me opportunities to get involved. Really my involvement stretches to get others involved. I am working with my previous church in mobilizing the congregation to fast and pray, not only for Nairobi Chapel (their partnership church) but also Kenya as a whole. There is a lot of restoration that needs to occur, and violence still persists. However, I believe there is hope that is coming. Its just on the cusp, but perhaps people don't want to grab a whole of it just yet. It is the hope of Jesus Christ. He is driving out what satan has tried to do and He is bringing the people to Himself. This happens through the Body of Christ praying - globally!

Anyway- He is pointing me in new directions within the church I attend as well. We (some friends of mine) are making efforts to get this to the forefront of people's minds, and join in prayer as the Global Church - not just one congregation. Pretty cool stuff.

For a minute there it felt as if I was doing nothing to benefit those things in which I am most passionate about- and now it is overflowing!

I also have met a series of people who are involved with movements to make changes around the world - to really educate and bring awareness to things going on here (in the USA) and outside of our country. One that is particularly moving is "The SOLD Project".

You take 7 individuals with hearts ready to use their talents and expose a heart breaking situation happening in OUR world today! After watching the tailor, and hopefully someday the film, they have exposed me to a truth that has now impacted me and expanded my mind. I love that. I think awareness is key in our world today- and the more we can be aware of whats going on the less narrow minded we will be about situations, ways of thinking, etc. So hats of to "the sold project". I look forward to more things to come.

So really I am just excited to be meeting people with similar hearts for exposure, awareness, and hope. I am thankful & blessed by my friend Nancy- who introduced me to Katherine- both of which recommended me to Rachel. (who I am still looking forward to meeting) I am thankful for God satisfying my desire to be, to dream, to talk, to network. And I am pumped to see what God brings from these relationships. What a great and global God we serve. We are so blessed and unaware of His absolute presence and provision. I am humbled by His graceful and unending love; despite my lack of recognition to what He has done for me and for the world at large.

Its not always a bad thing to go beyond my wildest dreams & update you on the fam! First things first- my nephew is growing like a weed! He is the cutest thing in the world.Anna & Rob are doing well and fantastic parents. I keep saying how amazing it is to watch two people who waited to have kids until they were both ready. It really makes the experience all that more beautiful. Its awesome.

Lydia & Bob are well. Holding down the reigns on the young pup (however large he is) and learning to dwell in a new abode, that might not be all the comfortable. They are troopers and really growing well together and as individuals. Pretty cool peeps. "I think I'll keep them" :)

Laura & Brandt at this very moment are probably on a plane or boarding a cruise ship with other friends for SB2008! Lucky dogs. Wedding plans are going well though. When people as (as they inevitably do) "is it weird your little sister is getting married before you?" I just say "its not weird shes marrying Brandt- but yes, sometimes it is weird shes getting married." Not because its before me though- bu just because its Laura. And shes my baby sister.

Oh and the rents - how could i forget my ma & pa?! They are doing well. Enjoying every minute of being grandparents. They went to Hawaii in January. Dad caught an enormous Blue Marlin- it was 13 feet long - they were deep sea fishing. I would venture to say that was one of the best moments of his life. Like a dream come true. When I get a picture from him I'll post it. Pretty sweet.

I guess thats it. Almost 2 months since I've written... and really I've ventured beyond my blog little. I'm not faithful to you - ambiguous blog reader. However, if you would like to have coffee - I like it now! :)

unfaithfully your's via blog - but faithfully your's in person,
Katie

A Day of Birth

Today marks what would have been my sister Sarah’s 29^th birthday. This morning I was thinking about all of her birthdays, and how we used to celebrate. If she were here we would probably be going to Benihana. She would have gotten the combo meal with shrimp & steak, eat one bite of salad, and most of her soup. Then we would have told them it was her birthday, they would have come out, we would sing, and then she would get a Polaroid photo taken with some crazy balloon hat on her head. She wouldn’t have been embarrassed – she would have soaked it up loving every minute. That’s what we would have done. But she isn’t here, so today I will go about my normal routine; whatever it is I do without Sarah being present. My head is filled with memories of her birthdays, but there are others who are filled with other memories more painful. No not her death- however painful it is to remember the hospital bed, us singing to her, praying with her, weeping over her… not those memories.

I thought of my mom. I thought about how she doesn’t immediately remember restaurants, hats, and songs; she remembers giving birth. She can remember Sarah, 29 years ago today, meeting her first child. She remembers Sarah’s first bath, Sarah’s first step, Sarah’s first word, Sarah’s first smile. She remembers Sarah’s first and last day of her life. Of course my dad too. That is something I cannot understand. That is a pain I can’t imagine feeling. So I pray for them today. I pray that they would see her in their dreams. I pray that they would be able to celebrate that 29 years ago they welcomed their first child into the world. And in a few months, they would be able to celebrate that they ushered that same child back into Heaven where she came from; 3 years ago. That is my prayer today. Pray with me.


Mom & Dad with Sarah Jane:

Continue praying...

Here are two more updates from those living in Kenya right now. Please read, and take serious consideration of praying for them on a consistent basis.

The good news is the violence has cooled and many businesses and parts of the country are getting back to normal. The bad news is that this is not the whole picture. If you just look a little below the surface or around the corner you will quickly find the real story going on in Kenya today. It is a bleak picture and one full of sadness. The nation is mourning as it is waking up to the realization that it is capable of such violence and hatred. Never did we believe that neighbors could turn on neighbors like they have. Is it possible that Kenyans could be capable of genocide? No one wants to believe it. Yet, there are reports of ethnic killings and mass hate emails and texts being spread around the country to dehumanize particular tribes. There are strong and clear divisions everywhere. People are very aware of people’s tribe and affiliation. Even to the level of aid responses, we were today being warned of sending the wrong tribe of Nationals into an area for fear of their own safety. There really is a sense of division.

Today is Saturday but when a crisis comes there are no weekends. Diane and I attended meeting after meeting today at the UN. Agencies, churches and individuals trying to help met to find some level of coordination. The reports coming in show upwards of 200,000 IDPs (internally displaced people). This means that 200,000 people that had homes and a sense of security a week ago today are on the street, looking for shelter, water and food. Nearly 300 have died from the police and army as well as from the ethnic violence. Reports of rape and robbery are climbing in the slums and everyone seems to be looking for an opportunity to act lawless. Shops that line the slums and various centers are being looted and often set on fire. Convoys that are trying to get food and supplies to the most hard hit areas are being blocked and looted. What makes things worse is that the issues Kenya is dealing with or not dealing with so well are now having an impact on the neighboring countries. Uganda is taking in refugees and suffering from a lack of fuel as Kenya is the pathway for the petrol/gas transport and no transport is moving. Almost all commercial transport has ceased so food and supplies going to Sudan, Somalia, Uganda, the Congo and other regions that have suffered humanitarian crises are now suffering more as their main port (Kenya’s Mombassa) has nearly shut down and the vehicles are not moving.

According to the UN’s World Food Program (WFP) there is enough food in the country for this crisis at the moment but people are starving because of not having access to the food. Just about 5 km from my house is a camp that has just started, Jamhuri Park. Tonight there are over 4000 people sleeping there and there are no tents or structures, little food but even less fuel to cook the food and water is becoming an issue.

The deeper issue in all of this is the ethnic tension. Even if there is a recount of the votes or a new election in a few month, it won’t fix this deep resentment felt by many of the tribes against the Kikuyu. Then, what if the fighting has stopped… Will people feel safe going home? Doubtfully. So, this becomes a long term response with immediate needs. Mostly we need prayers and God’s provision to lead us to the way of true reconciliation.

AND ANOTHER ASKING FOR PRAYER:

You have most likely read of the crisis facing Kenya, especially over the past one week. After an election whose results were rejected by the opposition, many parts of the country encountered pockets of violence that has left over 300 dead and 150,000 displaced people. Both the government and the opposition have accused each other of rigging in the presidential poll, and with lots of intervention from local and international peacemakers, are seeking amicable solutions to the ensuing impasse.

Many of you have written to ask after our welfare. We thank you for your prayers and concern. We fortunately live in the city in a neighborhood that has not been directly affected by the violence. We have kept safe by keeping our heads down. However, that does not diminish the pain we feel for many who have not been as fortunate. Keeping our heads down is probably not even the most godly solution to our situation right now, and we are seeking ways of becoming engaged—not in the politics, but in being salt and light and responding to the humanitarian crisis that faces our country today. Our hearts are heavy and we grieve the things we have seen, heard and felt.

I especially grieve for the youth who have mostly been used in the frontlines to fight the battles of politicians who are safely in their well guarded homes and travel in their bullet proof limos. Never before in our history have Satan’s lies been more visible as they are played out in the Kenyan arena. I feel the call even stronger now to be a frontline agent of instilling a Biblical Worldview that says, Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your mind, with all your soul and with all your strength, and love your neighbor as yourself. Kenya will be saved because of the heart of God, working in and through his people. Africa will thrive in His Name!

Would you join us in prayer? I am here attaching items from the prayer bulletin of our church, Karura Community Church, for tomorrow’s worship services.

In Your Prayer Closet

Kenya is bleeding, the righteous must stand in the gap!

“If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive heir sin and will heal their land.”

(II Chronicles 7:14)

· Pray for an amicable solution to the Elections impasse. Pray that justice, truth and peace in Kenya will be served.

· Pray for Raila Odinga and Mwai Kibaki, the two men at the centre of Kenya’s pain.

· Pray for our fragile democracy, now threatened by an unsatisfactory election.

· Tribalism has shown itself to be a crisis in Kenya, one that is resulting in bloodshed. Sadly, even in the Church, even among its leaders, tribal allegiance seems to control our response to politics more than truth and righteousness does. Pray that we, the Church, a people whose nationality is one in the kingdom, will be a light to the rest of our countrymen. That love will not only be possible, but will predominate in our inter-ethnic relations.

· Pray concerning the ethnic violence, that it will stop; that the displaced will be able to return to their homes in peace. Pray that people throughout the country will be able to go about their business in peace.

· Pray for those who have lost loved ones through the violence of the last week. Pray also for those whose businesses and/or homes have been destroyed.

· Pray that fomenters of violence and murder will be stopped, and justice prevail.

Thank you.

Kenya Elections

I would ask as you read this begin to lift up Kenya. As elections ended, and Kibaki won, there is rioting, looting, burning & killing happening throughout Kenya. What was a rather peaceful nation is in turmoil.

Please pray for peace in that nation. Pray for unity. Pray for the violence to cease.

Pray. Pray. Pray. God is in Kenya; living, active, and moving through the hearts of those people. Lets pray with faith knowing God is big enough to stop wars from starting and to bring peace.
[Psalm 29:10-11]

http://allafrica.com/kenya/

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22460182/

Kenyan Newspapers:
The Standard
Daily Nation

A word from those in Kenya right now:

The violence in Nairobi is around the slums, and fortunately we live away from any. Every once in a while we will hear gun shots in the distance, but so far we would have had to go out to look for trouble in order to find it. We grieve for the hundreds hurt or killed and thousands displaced (we know a few of the latter) and cant wait for this madness to end. But God is good, even in these circumstances.

People want normalcy. The last two days we have been able to go out to visit friends and buy provisions. Stores were open and I even ran into traffic snarl-ups today. Please pray for the country as tomorrow, the opposition has insisted on calling a mass rally where the leader, Raila, will be “sworn in” in a civilian coup—a sure recipe for a violent confrontation.

Unfortunately, the youth are misused at times like this... gleefully take to the streets to kill, burn and loot. All the more need for the instilling of a biblical worldview in their lives...

We appreciate your prayers. The Christian leaders have called for a three day fast and prayer. Consider joining us if you can.

Restlessness...

Will there be rest for my heart? I have found lately that I seem to be in a constant state of restlessness. Perhaps its discontentment coming out through restlessness, or is it that I am restless waiting for something to occur?

I ask questions because I don’t have the answers. So if you read those questions thinking “yeah- what are the answers?” I don’t have them for you. I wish I did. I wish I knew why humans, me especially, always seem ready for the next phase. But I wouldn't say this is a life-stage discontentment. I’m fine with being 24, working, single… but more along the lines of in this stage of life, am I doing what I should? Am I missing the still quiet voice of the Savior encouraging me to go in a particular direction – or even scarier – saying “stay”?

I don’t know. To be frank, I have no idea what God wants me to do. Possibly in my restlessness he wants me to rest- in Him; whether that means moving, staying, selling my car, going to other countries, or just being clueless but being ok with that. That could be the issue here. My “need” or really my want to know whats going on and what God will do in the next 6 months. Truthfully I have no clue what is in store, and don’t let me get away with saying I’m ok with it. Because the results are in, I am a discontented human who has a ridiculous want to know everything the God of the Universe does! Wow am I sinful. Thankfully I most assuredly have the Holy Spirit reminding me I am such, and despite my serious state of humanity- God loves me. He doesn’t just love a part of me, He loves me. All of me. And in my sin. That is the most incredible part.

So now, after reading this, you ask yourself, “Why would I need to know everything if I have a trustworthy God at the reigns?” The answer is, I have no idea. I wish I didn’t want to know. I wish I did just trust all the time. If I can trust him with my soul. My eternity. Why I don’t trust Him with tomorrow? Why don’t I think He will give me the desires in my heart? He isn’t out to get me, despite popular thought in my head. He loves me more than I love myself. Thus, He has decided to work out His will in my life. Which after the fact, I’m always thankful I didn’t know- because had I known I probably would have run- but after it all happens, whatever “it” is, I am thankful. And as I heard on Sunday, salvation always comes through suffering. That’s the way it happened for Jesus to purchase our salvation; and I can guarantee our present sufferings are NOTHING compared to His, and compared to what He has gained us through those sufferings.

So yes I am restless. Even at the end of this long flow of thought, I am still restless. I want to do more, go more places, live out passions, desires, hopes, and dreams. But before I get ahead of myself I have to remember, all of it is in vain if Jesus isn’t at the wheel. Amen?!